On The Outside

Biologically female non-gender identified secular humanist with a lycanthropyic spectrum (dis)order. This is me in 10 words or less.

Hullo. My name is Vlad, and this is my blog. I'm posting this because I hopesomeone might benefit from reading it, maybe someone whose undergoing their ownAwakening. My grammar isn't very good, so I hope you'll be able to excuse it.I'll also be hosting links to relevant otherkin and kitsune sites.

One of the thing's I'll be doing here is referring to myself as having"sides" and "selves". These aren't literal divisions. Ithink of myself as a continuum, a blended mess of interests, desires, andfears. But it's easiest to talk about these specific aspects of my whole by referringto them as if they were facets. Understand, please, that it's only a tool tobetter explain myself, not really inaccurate representation of how I seemyself.

You're probably wondering "So what is this Vlad thinganyway?" 

For the purpose of this blog, Vlad is a conglomeration of human, fox,and feathers. I've got wings that change color and size depending on my mood.They're something I made up for my astral body; they act as a gauge for myemotions. I can feel the change in my wings before the change in my mood, andsometimes I can deal with my incoming breakdown a little better because I knewabout it early. Although it seems strange, my wings are part of my human-self.My human-self is logic, reason, empirical study and quantitative measurement.Its survival oriented, but in a more calculating way than my other-self.

My Other self is harder to pin down. It's nervous, quick, darting andfleeting. It's survival-oriented, and magic oriented, and desperately seekingwarm sunlight and saltwater. It's a humming in my bones, a struggling snarlingfearful thing.

Why is it like that? Is that what you're wondering? I sound so dark,right? Like I'm trying to impress you. The truth is, I think my animal-side islike that because I don't let it out. I worked hard for most of my adolescenceto blend in and act like everyone else. Now I've gotten to the point where Ican't let that small, fuzzy side of myself express itself freely even when I'malone. It's my goal to find a way to be more of myself, at least when I'malone. Though that's pretty nebulous .Let's say this: "the goal of this blog for the next two months is to find a way to bring on shifts in a controlled setting."

Stay with me, okay? I'll only update if you check back often! <3